Comedy Wrestling’s ‘NAW or Never’ Builds Stars One Promo at a Time
Los Angeles, CA – – In a world where professional wrestling increasingly blends athleticism with performance art, a new open mic night is giving aspiring grapplers a unique platform to hone their skills: smack talk. “NAW or Never: Smack Talk Open Mic,” held monthly at the Elysian Theater, isn’t about body slams and suplexes; it’s about building a character, perfecting a promo, and captivating an audience with sheer verbal prowess.
The brainchild of Shane Hartline, a former professional wrestler himself, “NAW or Never” functions as a training ground for the theatrical side of the sport. Performers throw their names into a bucket, and Hartline randomly selects individuals to deliver a 60-second promo – a wrestling term for a spoken monologue designed to hype a match or antagonize an opponent – before a panel of judges. It’s a space where aspiring wrestlers can work out their “character muscles,” as Hartline describes it, and refine their trash-talking chops.
The atmosphere is decidedly unconventional. During a December present, comedian Matt Raub, performing as “The Gaslighter,” took the stage boasting about his fictional championship reign. “I am now the NAW, Intercontinental, Breakfast, Continental, World Heavyweight, European, North American, Intergender, X Division, Y Division, Z Division … champion and not a single one of you is ever going to take it from me,” he proclaimed, even directing his boast towards the show’s security guard, who was dressed as a velociraptor. This blend of absurdity and bravado is precisely the energy Hartline cultivates.
But “NAW or Never” isn’t just about outlandish characters and over-the-top pronouncements. It’s about the fundamental importance of mic work in wrestling. As Jenn Sterger, an ex-wrestler and now comedian who frequently serves as a judge, explains, “The audience needs to grasp who to root for, it needs to buy into the story, staying in character is super important.” She’s seen countless promising wrestlers falter because they lacked the ability to convincingly tell a story through their words.
Hartline emphasizes the creative freedom the open mic provides. He doesn’t simply look for polished performers; he seeks potential and encourages experimentation. He actively fosters a collaborative environment, introducing his own cast of recurring characters – like the Head of Marketing Department or the Department of Grappling Education (DOGE) – to interact with the performers and further develop their storylines. “It’d be dumb of me to get you off stage as [quickly] as possible,” Hartline said, “I want to locate more bits with you. I want you to not only play with the judges, but play with our ‘NAW’ recurring cast members.”
The structure of the show is designed to be unpredictable. Hartline’s goal isn’t to simply identify talent, but to build a universe within “Nearly Average Wrestling” (NAW). He views the open mic as a “blank canvas” where performers can explore their creativity and contribute to a larger, evolving narrative. This approach reflects Hartline’s belief that wrestling is a unique intersection of theater, performance art, and character development.
Peter Avalon, one-half of DOGE, succinctly captures the essential ingredient for success in this arena: attitude. “… You got to bring a larger-than-life personality, you have to have an attitude that takes no prisoners and doesn’t give a s—.” It’s a sentiment that underscores the importance of confidence and charisma in captivating an audience.
At the end of each show, the judges select two performers to face off in a “battle of wits.” The winner doesn’t receive a cash prize, but something arguably more valuable: a company contract. This contract grants them access to the NAW roster of characters, allowing them to interrupt future shows and further integrate themselves into the ongoing storylines. The upcoming one-year anniversary show in May promises to be a particularly fertile ground for these newly minted characters to make their mark.
“There’s nothing that’s off the table,” Hartline asserts, emphasizing the show’s commitment to pushing boundaries and embracing the unexpected. “It’s a blank canvas and I can do anything with it as well as the people that come and participate.” “NAW or Never” isn’t just about finding the next wrestling star; it’s about fostering a community of performers who are passionate about the art of storytelling and unafraid to embrace the absurd.