A Therapist’s Take on Is This Thing On?
After the credits rolled on Bradley Cooper’s “Is This Thing On?”, I found myself still sitting in my living room chair, replaying the quiet devastation of Alex and Tess’s unraveling marriage. The film’s portrayal of post-divorce limbo—where ex-partners navigate co-parenting even as trying to rediscover themselves—resonated far beyond the screen. As someone who’s spent years helping couples navigate similar terrain in my therapy practice, I couldn’t facilitate but see reflections of clients I’ve worked with right here in Austin, Texas. The way the film captures that specific ache of middle-aged disconnection—where love hasn’t vanished but has fundamentally changed form—feels particularly relevant in a city where rapid growth has transformed not just the skyline, but the very rhythm of relationships.
What struck me most about “Is This Thing On?” wasn’t the comedy bits or the celebrity cameos, but how authentically it portrayed the mundane realities of modern divorce. When Alex struggles to pay the cover at the Olive Tree Cafe—a detail pulled straight from John Bishop’s real-life experiences—it’s not just a punchline; it’s a window into the financial recalibration that follows separation. In Austin, where housing costs have surged over 40% in the past five years according to the Texas A&M Real Estate Center, that financial strain is amplified. Couples aren’t just dividing assets; they’re often facing the prospect of maintaining two households in a market where the median home price now exceeds $550,000, all while trying to provide stability for kids shuttling between homes near Zilker Park or in the suburbs of Round Rock.
The film’s exploration of identity reconstruction after divorce aligns with research from the University of Texas at Austin’s Population Research Center, which shows that Travis County has seen a 22% increase in “gray divorces” (separations after age 50) since 2015—a trend mirroring national patterns but accelerated here by our city’s unique pressures. Like Tess confronting the sacrifices she made for their family, many Austinites I’ve counseled describe waking up years into marriage realizing they’ve set aside personal ambitions for career moves tied to their spouse’s tech job at companies like Dell or Apple, or for the demands of raising children in highly-rated Eanes or Austin ISD schools. The film’s strength lies in showing how this reckoning isn’t about blame, but about the quiet accumulation of unspoken resentments that occur when partners grow in different directions.
What makes “Is This Thing On?” particularly valuable as a conversation starter is its refusal to villainize either character. When Alex seeks purpose in the New York comedy scene—a metaphor for the search for renewed vitality that many experience post-divorce—it’s not portrayed as immature escapism, but as a legitimate attempt to reclaim parts of oneself that got buried in the logistics of family life. Similarly, Tess’s journey isn’t framed as regret, but as an honest evaluation of what was gained and lost. This nuanced approach matches what clinicians at the Austin Travis County Integral Care center observe: successful post-divorce adaptation often begins not with blame assignment, but with each person acknowledging their own role in the relationship’s evolution while grieving what’s ending.
The film also highlights something crucial that often gets overlooked in divorce discourse: the impact on friendships. When Alex and Tess struggle to maintain their social circle post-separation, it reflects a reality I’ve seen repeatedly in my Austin practice. Research from the Moody College of Communication at UT shows that divorced individuals in Central Texas report losing an average of 30% of their close social connections within two years of separation—not since friends take sides, but because coupled social dynamics don’t easily accommodate singles. This is especially pronounced in Austin’s tight-knit creative and tech communities, where social life often revolves around couple-centric activities from South Congress dining to Hill Country weekend getaways.
Given my background in marriage and family therapy, if this trend impacts you in Austin, here are the three types of local professionals you need to consider when navigating post-divorce transition:
- Divorce-Specialized Therapists: Look for licensed professionals with specific training in post-divorce adjustment, not just general couples counseling. The best practitioners in Austin—whether they’re based near Westlake or offering telehealth services—understand the unique pressures of our community, from navigating co-parenting schedules around AISD school calendars to addressing identity loss specific to careers in our dominant industries. They should demonstrate familiarity with local resources and be able to reference specific Austin challenges rather than offering generic advice.
- Collaborative Divorce Professionals: For those still in the separation process, seek attorneys and financial planners trained in collaborative divorce methods available through the Austin Collaborative Family Law Professionals group. These specialists focus on minimizing adversarial proceedings while addressing Texas-specific considerations like community property division and creating parenting plans that work with Austin’s unique school choice landscape. Effective collaborators will have established relationships with local child specialists and financial neutrals who understand Travis County’s specific legal landscape.
- Post-Divorce Identity Coaches: This emerging specialty focuses specifically on the reconstruction phase Tess and Alex navigate in the film. Qualified Austin practitioners in this space—often found through referrals from places like the Austin Mindfulness Center or Seton Psychiatric Services—help clients rediscover personal values and goals that may have been deferred during marriage. Look for coaches who incorporate Austin’s unique opportunities for reconnection, whether through volunteering with organizations like Keep Austin Beautiful, exploring the city’s extensive trail system, or engaging with the vibrant local arts scene at venues like the Long Center or Blanton Museum.
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